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Leave your memorial thoughts for Steven Paul Chucknick

In Memory of Steven Paul Chucknick



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In Tribute to Steven Paul Chucknick
44 years old.   Residence: Cliffwood Beach, N.J.
Died in World Trade Center

NOTE:  The visitor remarks and comments below are NOT NECESSARILY the feelings or beliefs of this website's webmaster or sponsors.
 

327 Total Comments
Page:  10 of 17

My Love,

Sometimes I write to you on here and for some reason they do not show up right away. Please know, though, that my heart is here with you always. I dreamed about you the other night, and hated to awake. It felt so real, as if you were really with me. I can only hope that you were. I love you so very much.

My heart to only you forever,
Your wife, Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-07-10 ***

My Love,

I am so sorry I haven't been here for a while. I guess I let my mind get distracted, but I am here and always will be. I had such a beautiful dream about you last week that I never wanted to end. I had held your picture for a while so that I could fall asleep, and to my surprise you were in my dreams that night. I hated it when I woke up because it was then that I realized it was only a dream, and the pain becomes unbearable. To love someone the way I love you and not to be able to hold you is the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone. I try to let the days go by, and I try to keep busy, but there are the times when my heart just slips back in time, and I hurt so bad because I want you to be here with us. It will be 7 years soon, and while I feel like it just happened, it also feels like an eternity. I love you my angel and miss you with all my heart.

My love and my heart to you always,
Your wife, Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-07-09 ***

My Love,

Fathers' day was harder to get through than I thought it would be, but I found some peace. When I brought flowers to the memorial in Old Bridge, I stood and stared at your picture for the longest time, and as I closed my eyes and prayed for you, it's as if I felt you standing behind me on my right side with your hand on my shoulder comforting me. At that moment I felt our hearts intertwine as if my soul reached yours in heaven, or you were able to meet mine here on earth. I wanted that moment to last for all eternity. Were you there with me? It's as if I could feel your heart beating as a slight breeze picked up for a moment. I didn't want to leave, but had to. I miss you so much, and would give the world to hold you for a moment. I never realized that the day I lost you my tears would last forever. My heart to only yours forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-06-26 ***

To NHI,

Thank you for your kind post. Yes, he was and always will be one in a million and my love forever.

Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-06-26 ***

May God bless you and give you strength. I will definitely keep your family in my prayers. You seem very sweet and loving. You are lucky to have found such love, the kind of love that many of us can only hope for. Keep your head up. You will see your husband again someday.

*** Posted by Nhi on 2008-06-17 ***

My Love,

Sunday is Fathers' Day, and although you are not with us physically, our hearts are with you always because you are our heart. Steven and I will spend most of the day remembering--remembering a time when you were with us and the whole world seemed wonderful. You have left such a void in our lives that I am not sure you could even imagine it. I love you so very much and always will. You will always be the best husband and father that has ever walked this earth. My heart to only yours forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-06-10 ***

My Angel,

From time to time I check the bottom of this site, and I am so happy to see so many people visit it. It makes me smile to know that you are so very remembered not just by me, but by so many people. My heart felt so close to you the other night as I listened to John Denver's song, "For You." The song has every word in it that I feel for you. I played it over and over, and I felt my heart reach to you even more than it ever did. I love you so very much my love and will for all my life. I still close my eyes and put my head to the side and can hear your heart beat.

My heart to yours forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-06-06 ***

My Sweet Love,

Just me saying I love you and I miss you.

My heart to yours forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-05-22 ***

Hi, my angel,

Well, today is Mothers' Day, and it still doesn't feel right anymore. I am blessed to have Steven, but I miss being with you. Every year, I take out the last Mothers' Day gift you gave me, and I close my eyes and dream of the way Mothers' Day in 2001 was. It was beautiful. Although I cherish everything you ever gave me, the gifts that were given to me on that day remain close to my heart and always will. Today I miss you even more. I love you, my angel. My heart to only yours for all eternity.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-05-11 ***

My Darling Husband,

I find it hard to believe that it is May already. I still count the days since we lost you, and I can't believe that it is almost 7 years already. I am so tired of people telling me that I should move on with my life. Don't they realize that true love never dies? What kind of a life do they have that they feel mine has come to a halt? It hasn't. Just my heart remains with you forever, and therefore it still feels like 2001 to me. I do many things, but I always have you in mind with whatever I do. You live in my heart; therefore, my heart beats for two and always will. That is how I know you still live and always will. Please be with Steven because he is so sad all the time, and that hurts. I know our lives will never be the same without you, and that is what everyone needs to respect. No matter what we went through, I have a love for you that will never end until I am in your arms again. And for this I am blessed. My heart to only yours forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-05-04 ***

My Love,

I pray for you day and night. I now know that you are all right, but that you need my prayers. So, I ask all who read this tribute site to please keep Steve's name in your prayers, because I am sure that he watches over many of us. Please never forget him or the love and care that he gave to us and still does. And as for me, my love, I go to bed every night with your name in my prayers and only you in my dreams. My heart to yours forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-04-30 ***

My Love,

Last night I missed you so much and did a really stupid thing. I sat down to watch television, and the movie "The World Trade Center" was on, so I watched it. Why, I don't know, because it felt like a knife in my heart. One of the last lines in the movie was, "There are thousands of people in here. Where are they?" It was said by a distraught rescue worker. That line stuck in my mind throughout the night and sticks with me today. "Where are you," and where is everyone else? Too many people have forgotten 9/11. I see it every day. Watching the movie, I remembered how caring everyone was for everyone else, and now that has disappeared again. I guess it hurts less to forget, but I promise I never will. I love you so very, very much.

My heart to only yours forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-04-28 ***

My Angel,

It's early morning, and of course you are my first thought. I was just outside, and it is so beautiful. The birds are singing, and the hawk is back to have her babies again. She is so magnificent to watch as she flies through the woods and between the trees. It seems so majestic. Last year she had 3 babies, and they got to know me, so they would come down when they could fly and sit on the benches or deck. It's exciting every year to see them. This year she took down her old nest and made a new one. Anyway, you would love it right now, because the weather is perfect. Is it this beautiful where you are? I wish I knew. I just want you to be happy because I love you so much. Please don't ever forget that. My heart to only yours forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-04-25 ***

My Angel,

Springtime has come around, and the flowers are so beautiful. I remember that it was one of your favorite times of the year, not too hot and not too cold. I kind of just wander around taking in the beauty and stopping every once in a while to talk to you. I am so happy that the Pope has blessed ground zero. I don't know where all of you who we lost are. It is as if you disappeared without a word. I was happy, but I was sad. It is truly now sacred ground, and yet they are going to build on it. What if there are still remains somewhere there that were not found? How do all the families find peace, or is it our destiny to always feel lost along with all of you? I pray every night for peace of mind, but it never comes. I never have pleasant dreams any more, only nightmares. When I wake afraid in the middle of the night, I look out at St. Michael and think of you beside me, and then I sleep, but not a restful sleep. I will always miss you, and nothing that passes through my life will ever change that. My heart to only yours forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-04-21 ***

Hi My Angel,

Sorry I haven't written to you in a while, but there were things going on that I am sure you know about that had me scared. Everything is all right now, but the problems occupied my mind. I know you were with me because I could feel your presence. I am so sorry that I seem to fall apart when things go wrong. I wished so many times that you were here to hold me and tell me everything was going to be all right. I talked with you so much. Did you hear me? I miss you so very much, and I need you to be near me. I just can't seem to function without you, no matter how much I try. I want you to be proud of me, so I keep on trying. Maybe someday with your help, I'll make it. I love you so much. My heart to only yours forever.

Your wife always,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-04-16 ***

My Love,

Today is a very bad day. You know what has happened. Please be with us and help us through this time, as I pray that God will answer my prayers. I love you so much.

My heart to only you forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-04-08 ***

My Love,

It's nighttime already, and I miss you so much. So many things happened today that made me close my eyes and wish you were by my side. Sometimes my heart aches so much for you that I wish I could close my eyes and just sleep. I guess the change in the weather is making me even more melancholy than usual. The signs of spring are here, and I remember how much you loved it. In the morning I hear the birds singing as if they are speaking to God and giving thanks for the warmer weather. I, too, speak to God, and ask Him to please help me through another day, to please let me see the beauty that is around me as I did when you were here with me. Will I ever heal, or is this the way the rest of my days are to be? Please be by my side, even though I can't see you. Please hold my hand when I am afraid, and hold me in your arms when I feel I can't take any more. I love you so very much and forever will. My heart to yours forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-04-06 ***

My Love,

Easter is now over, and I missed you, oh, so very much. Now it's on to spring, and then the hot summer. The year seems to be just flying past. I talk about you so much with people I meet. I always say that if angels walk among us, then I was blessed to have married one. This weekend made me sad because, even though Easter was on a different date, I remember that we lost your dad on Easter 10 years ago. It was so hard to have had to tell you he was gone. He was a wonderful man, and I think of him often. I am so glad that we have so many videos of him and you and Steven. I still haven't looked at them because I don't know if I could take watching the ones with you yet. My heart would break into millions of pieces. My dream is someday when I am old, and my time has come to sit down and watch them, close my eyes, and meet you in heaven. But for now, my work is not done here yet, I guess, so I will hope that you will forever guide me through each day. I love you so very much!

My heart to only your forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-03-24 ***

My Love,

Well, it seems though Christmas was just here, and now we are getting ready for Easter. Where is the time going? Easter was such a happy time for us. We always had the whole family over, and it was fun. Now it is another holiday that we try to get by without you. You are missed so much by my whole family. I can't believe that Steven will be 20 this year. He looks and acts so much like you, and when he smiles, it brings tears to my eyes because he smiles just the way you did. You should be so very proud of him because he has turned into the kind of man that you were and always will be. He has your gentle and caring ways, and all who meet him love him. I am so proud that he is our son. I miss you so much and love you even more as time passes. Remember, you are my forever love.

My heart to only you forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-03-19 ***

My Love,

I thought about you today and stopped to thank God for putting you in my life. As I was talking about you with a friend of mine, I realized why I have trouble getting through some days. Well, the obvious is because I miss you so much it hurts, but the other reason is because you were and are such a big part of who I am today. You taught me so much. You inspired me, you gave me courage, you helped me stand on my own and face anything that came my way with courage and dignity. It is as if you were the very air that I breathe each day and the voice in my heart that helped me become who I am. Without you by my side, I feel as if so many parts of who I am are now missing. I struggle sometimes to get up in the morning. You were the first smile I saw each morning and the very last one I kissed goodnight. I was safe from everything. Now there is no one to turn to in times of trouble or when I am afraid. I feel you near me so many times, but yet I still face every day knowing that I am here without you. I want to make you proud of me, but I have a hard time getting started. I promise I will try harder because I love you so very much. Remember, "I will always love you more than life itself."

My heart to only you forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2008-03-06 ***


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