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In Memory of Steven Paul Chucknick



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In Tribute to Steven Paul Chucknick
44 years old.   Residence: Cliffwood Beach, N.J.
Died in World Trade Center

NOTE:  The visitor remarks and comments below are NOT NECESSARILY the feelings or beliefs of this website's webmaster or sponsors.
 

327 Total Comments
Page:  14 of 17

My Sweet Love,

Today was better. The doctor called and said Citrus is really doing much better. They are keeping him till Monday, hoping he will recover 100%. That is what I'm praying for. You know what a great dog he is. He deserves to be as he was before this. Please stay with him, and when we bring him home, please watch over him, so that this doesn't happen again. I wish you would have met Cedar, I'm sure you see him. He is a rip, and I love him. He is actually Citrus's real brother, only 4 years apart. You would have loved him. Then again, you loved everyone and everything. I believe any blessings that come my way, that you helped send them to me. I sometimes believe that I am surrounded by angels who guard me and protect me. I know you are here with them, and that is when I feel the safest. I love you, my Angel.

My heart to only you forever,
Your wife, Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-10-05 ***

My Angel,

I am heading down to the water to talk to you. I know you must be listening. So far, Citrus is getting better. Actually the doctors are amazed at how quickly he is recovering. I have asked everyone we know to pray to St. Francis. The doctors feel the prayers are working. He did have a stroke, but the doctors are watching him for the next few days, so please be with him and help him recover 100%. I know how much you loved him and how much he loved you. I have been crying since yesterday because I know you would make everything okay if you were here. So please be with Citrus in spirit and help him. Between you and St. Francis, I know you can do it. I made a promise to St. Francis because actually it is his feast day this week. Please look into my heart and mind, and you will know what the promise is. I love you, Angel.

My heart to yours always and forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-10-04 ***

My Love,

Please be listening, and please be near. I need you. Today was not a good day. I rushed Citrus to the animal hospital; something is wrong with him. The doctors think he may have had a stroke, and I'm so scared. I need your strength, please. Please ask St. Francis to be with Citrus, and let him be okay. I had to leave him at the hospital tonight, and they are monitoring him. All I have been doing is crying. He was your dog, and I treasure him. Please be with him, and help him to heal, please. I love you, my Angel.

My heart to yours always,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-10-03 ***

My love,

Tonight I will just say "I love you." If you are near me, then you will know the rest of what is in my heart and mind.

My Heart to yours forever,
You wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-10-02 ***

Hi, Angel,

It's me. It seems that fall is in the air again, even though it's supposed to get warmer yet again. I was down by the water thinking about you, and this beautiful cool breeze was blowing. There were a few dark clouds in the sky. You know, the ones that you feel you could touch if you reach up. You know, I love those clouds. Did you send them to me? I love to listen to the winds at night. Sometimes I think I can hear you whispering to me. If only. Who's to say its not you? My heart feels good when that happens, so I know you're near. I miss you so much, sweetheart. As our anniversary approaches, I need you here beside me, as I know you often are. So if you're listening, I'll whisper a secret to you: "I love you so much."

My heart to yours forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-10-01 ***

Hi, Sweetheart,

It's Sunday afternoon, 2210 days without you. I didn't do much of anything today, except answer a few e-mails from friends that I have made. I think you would have liked them. They really seem nice. Tomorrow is October 1st, and our 20th anniversary is the 23rd. I still remember our wedding day as clearly as I see this day. You were so very handsome, and I couldn't believe you were mine. I still have my white roses from that day, although they are in a jar now. Unfortunately, after 20 years they are falling apart. I have marked the jar, "Wedding Dreams." You always made my dreams come true, whether you knew it or not. Just being with you every day was my biggest dream come true. How was I so lucky to have found this Knight in Shinning Armor! I guess I did something right in my life for God to have brought us together. Because I had you in my life, I am satisfied for the rest of my days. I love you, angel.

My heart to yours forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-30 ***

Hi Sweetheart,

I was with my family today, and from time to time we all spoke about you, and how all the children in the family loved you so much. Our nieces, Amanda and Rebecca, speak about you quite a bit, and Amanda always thinks she sees you. In her heart of hearts I know she wishes she did. She was always your little girl, and so was Rebecca. Its nice to see how much you mean to them and how much they love you. I love talking about you with them, because someone always remembers something special. See, my love, you will be alive forever. I wish the world knew you, and if I could I would write a book all about you and what it meant to have you in my life. You, on the other hand, hated to have a fuss made about you. How ironic, because everywhere I go, to each and every memorial, your name is there, and you are a hero to so many people. I wish you would have realized how very special you are. But you were a very humble person, as well as all the other things you were. My Love, you were a gift from God to this world. I know it, and so many other people know it. I love you so much.

My heart to yours forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-29 ***

My Sweet Angel,

Today was just a day. One of many, I suppose. I'm having a hard time getting through September this year, but I will make it. Today was just a sad day. I missed you a lot today. It's amazing how every day that passes, I can relate something that you and I did on that day. Actually, I hope I never forget. Steven chose a stone that we have in the yard. He had this urgency to get it. When I read it, I knew why. The saying simply says, "No farewell words were spoken. There was no time for good-byes. You were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why." How ironic.... It now sits in the yard near an angel that is crying and near the blessed mother. I love you, my love.

My heart to yours forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-28 ***

Hi, Angel, it's me. Well, the heat is still with us, and I keep hoping for the colder weather. I spoke about you quite a bit today. I love talking about you and telling people how wonderful you are. I still wear your bracelet and the heart with your picture around my neck. I wear my wedding ring with pride and always will. Marriage doesn't end when one of us is gone. It's forever, and you are my forever love. My family knows that no matter what, none of these things are to be removed from me. So, when I see you in heaven, I will confirm my love to you once again. Is that what heaven is? Will you remember me? Will we look the same? I don't care if I have to spend eternity looking for you, I promise I will find you. It's like the movie you loved, "What dreams may come." You are the one I want to spend eternity with, and if we should come back, I want to find you all over again. I love you, my Angel.

My heart to yours forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-27 ***

Hi, my love,

Nothing much to tell you about today, except how much I love you! It seems as though summer has come back. I hope not to stay. I went down by the water to talk to you. Manhattan was barely visible through the smog, or fog, whatever. But, I spoke to you, anyway. I find all my answers when I sit there and speak to you. Can you see me? Do you hear me? It's funny, when I speak to you, it's as if we are together, because I see no one else but you. I remember everything about you so clearly. I pray I never forget even one thing about you. I still can hear your voice, I can still remember how you walked, laughed, talked, and smiled. I know what your hair felt like. I can see your hands. I remember everything, and that's what I hold in my heart along with you. I love you, not just today or tomorrow, but for the rest of my life, and for all eternity I pledge my love to you.

My heart to yours forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-26 ***

Hi, Angel,

Well, today was filled with mixed emotions, and it left me crying. Sorry. Steven had to write about someone who is important to him in his life, describe the person, and talk about important conversations with the person. Well, of course he picked you. As he described you, my mines eye could see you. I could see you standing over him with that special smile and caring love you had for him. He wrote about your successes, your mannerisms, and your heroism. He knows you like a book. His favorite thing to write about was how, when he was little, no matter how tired you were, you would always find time for him at night to read to him. He remembers how you both would laugh and talk until you both fell asleep. Then you would awake and kiss him goodnight. I can still hear you telling this sleeping little boy. "I love you!" I cried because I could actually see you and ached to see it all over again. I am so proud of Steven. His love for you is as strong as the day he kissed you goodbye, hugged you, and prayed that you would return. But you didn't. He is your greatest legacy, and I will do everything in my power to keep him from harm. I love you, angel.

My heart to yours forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-25 ***

Hi Sweetheart,

It's late, and I'm still up and thinking about you. I guess I watched the news a bit too much today. It's sad what's going on. I wish I could fix the whole world, or at least try. Why do so many people take life for granted, instead of embracing each moment as if it were their last? Don't they realize that it could be gone in an instant? Sometimes, I feel like I'm in a bubble, and I'm watching the world, but it doesn't see me. I look on in amazement at the anger that is shown over petty things. What has become of this world? Why is there so much turmoil in it? I get my comfort from talking to you here. I wouldn't know how to end the day if I didn't. Please ask the angels to guide us in a better direction. One of peace and harmony. That's the way it's supposed to be. I wish you were really here to talk to, because when I feel this way, I know your words would make everything okay. I love you, my angel. My Heart to yours for all eternity.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-24 ***

Hello Barbara,

I wanted to say that I think about you every day and read your words, which touch close to my heart. I know the love you speak of because I have that with my new husband, and I know that I will always feel that way. We are as much in love today as we were the first day we met.

Someday, you and I will meet, and I have the biggest HUG waiting for you ((((((Barbara)))))). I know that Steve would want you to be happy, and maybe in time that will happen.

Please know that I am here for you any time, and I sure hope that time will heal this pain you carry. He would want that for you. I will send him to you in your dreams. We all know that he misses you and Steven terribly.

All my best,
Angelique

*** Posted by Angelique Lanier (Remington) on 2007-09-24 ***

My Love,

Today is 2204 days without you. How did I make it to here, wherever here is? I was down by the water this afternoon. The skyline, although empty, looked so beautiful. The sun seemed to shimmer on some of the buildings, making it look like an emerald city. The sun on the water looked so beautiful as well, shimmering and dancing as if all were all right in this world. I look forward to a time when there is peace in this world again. A time when we all realize that we are one and need to help each other. Will this ever happen? Will the world realize that enough is enough? Or are we set in our ways? Haven't we all learned yet? I believe it can happen. The song goes, "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me." How true--if we all believed that we are all the "me" in that song. Maybe someday. I love you, and I miss you so much. If there had been peace in this world, then all who were killed on 9/11 would still be here, watching their children grow, and being in the arms of the one they loved. "If only."

My heart to yours forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-24 ***

Hi, my angel,

It's Sunday afternoon, the first day of fall, and I'm sitting here thinking about you. You always loved this time of the year, not too hot and not too cold. You loved driving with the top down on your convertible. I miss seeing you do that, because I know how much you loved it. Winter, however, is lurking in the background, and you know how much I love winter and the cold. When it snows, it looks so beautiful, almost as if everything is okay with the world. This will be our 7th Christmas and Thanksgiving without you, but please know that you are kept right beside us through the whole season. At Thanksgiving, I give thanks that you are my husband, and that we have such a wonderful son. Christmas is sad because we miss you so much and remember the beautiful times we shared. This year, as our 20th anniversary approaches, I will renew my love for you, as I do every year. It will always be you and me, forever. I love you, my Angel.

My heart to yours forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-23 ***

My Love,

The beautiful signs of fall have somehow stopped, and summer has returned. If the seasons can stop and turn back time, then why can't I? I would turn it back to a time when the whole world got along, and there wasn't any hate. A time when people were just happy to be. I would turn it back as least as far as to the day we met. I knew you were the one the moment I saw you. It was a time when everything seemed to stand still, and all I could hear was the beat of our hearts. My eyes saw nothing and no one but you. Now as the world goes on, my heart remains with you in 2001. I guess time has stood still where our love is concerned because, in my eyes, I still see no one but you.

My heart to yours for all eternity,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-22 ***

Dear Barbara,

Sometimes I read your diary. I donít know your husband, but I can feel your pain when I read the letters. I think your husband is a wonderful human, and he is proud of his wife and his son. I am absolutely sure that your husband knows that he has a wonderful woman and a wonderful son. God bless your husband, you, and your son. Barbara you are great.

Markus from Germany
abavia@hotmail.de

*** Posted by Markus on 2007-09-22 ***

Dear Steven Paul,

I'm from Germany. I can't believe what happened; it's so terrible. I pray for all people who lost their loved ones in the WTC. Additionally, I pray for people who through their life's courage and effort have prevented another disaster and thus have saved many other people's lives. I'm sure your family is proud of you. God bless you and your family.

Markus C. (Germany)

P.S., Barbara, your husband is great! He is a hero. God bless you.

*** Posted by Markus C. on 2007-09-21 ***

My Love,

I sat down by the water yet again today. I could see the empty skyline so clearly, and I stared, and I wondered. Sometimes I go down to the water just at sunrise. The city is still shadowed, and it looks alone. In the distance could be seen the empty space that was once occupied by the twin towers, and yet now when I stare across the water, it's almost as if I can see their ghostly figure. How long will I wish for what I had? I feel I will wish forever, and my wish will never be granted. Do you feel the same as I do? Do you yearn for what we had? I guess not, because you are safe where you are. I know, though, that you miss us and try to comfort us. I can feel it. Am I holding onto you and keeping you from being happy? I would never want to do that. I want you to be happy, but I need to know you're near me. I hope I'll see you in my dreams. I love you, sweetheart.

My heart to only you forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-21 ***

Hi Angel,

It's late, but I'm here. Couldn't go to sleep without speaking to you. I know you watch me, and I know you want me to feel better, but it's going to take a long, long time--if not forever. But I'm okay, honestly. After all, I have you for my husband. What else could I ask for? It's really lonely without you. When the evening comes, and the day needs to end, I don't know how to end it. There's no one to ask how my day went--or for that matter, no one for me to say to, "How was your day, hon?" I miss that so much. It seems that my days have no beginning, and they have no end. How did this happen? How could I have lost you so soon? You were supposed to be here always. You promised. You always kept your promises. So please, sweetheart, when I cry, please know that it's the only thing I can do at that moment. But always know and see how much I LOVE YOU!

My heart and soul to yours forever,
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-20 ***


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