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In Memory of Steven Paul Chucknick



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In Tribute to Steven Paul Chucknick
44 years old.   Residence: Cliffwood Beach, N.J.
Died in World Trade Center

NOTE:  The visitor remarks and comments below are NOT NECESSARILY the feelings or beliefs of this website's webmaster or sponsors.
 

327 Total Comments
Page:  16 of 17

My Love,

The time has come. Tomorrow is your birthday and my heart aches. It feels like the world has stopped again. I want so much to have you here with us to celebrate, but I can only dream. The memories of your last birthday with us keep flooding my mind, and I cry. I cry because I hurt and there is nothing I can do about it. I miss you every day of my life but even more when September comes around. I always told you that the safest place in the world was in your arms. Sometimes when the sadness becomes to much to handle, I feel your arms around me. I would give the world to be there again. I don't know how to get through this week again. Some of my friends thought it would be better as time goes on. How could it be better? And how do I explain what is so deep in my heart? The only man I will ever love has been taken from me all too soon, and my life will never be the same. I pray for you so much and hope you can also hear me. I know you do because when it all gets too much to bear, and I can't stop crying, a calmness comes over me, and that is when I know you are beside me and holding me. I Love you, my Angel. My heart to yours forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-08 ***

No words can express my thoughts and feelings right now after reading every gut-renching, tear-jerking letter you write to your husband, your soul mate, every day. It brings to mind how close I am with my soon-to-be husband on 9/15/07, and how something so tragic can really affect a person, even 6 years later. I know in my heart that I would be just like you, Barbara, aching for that love again. Your words have touched my heart deeply, and I just sat at my desk and cried my eyes out. I reading every letter you sent to him--hope you don't mind--and I will never forget! See, my birthday is also in September, the 10th. My best friend's is the 11th. So it is quite a somber week.

When 9-11 happened in 2001, about 3-4 months later, someone asked me how old I was, and I was speechless. I had to do the math in order to answer this person. I always felt so selfish having my birthday during this time, with all the lives lost, especially that year. I just wanted you to know that you touched my heart from your heart. Thank you.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, especially this week. Happy Birthday, Steve, and please watch over Barbara and your son, they really need you now more than ever....

*** Posted by Angeique Remington-Lanier on 2007-09-07 ***

Hi, Angel. It's me. The minute I open my eyes each day my thoughts turn to you and where we were and what we did 6 years ago. This is the time of the year when I don't care to talk very much--except to you, that is. I listen to a little music, mostly while I sit down by the water looking at Manhattan. I mostly play songs that remind me of you, and I cry. I listen to "Hero" because that's what you are. I listen to "In the arms of the angels" because that's where you are. And I listen to "To Where you Are" because that's where I want to be. I was listening to a song again by John Denver "Rhymes and Reasons." The second verse is so eerie. "Though the city starts to crumble, and the towers fall around us, the sun is slowly fading, and it's colder than the sea". It's so odd because I remember when we were riding together that Sunday, you asked if I had any of his CD's in the car. You wanted to listen to them. I didn't, so we didn't. So many songs remind me of you. You were my music here on earth. You were and are my heart. I love you, Angel. My heart to yours forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-06 ***

Reading through these comments has helped me realise not to take things for granted. Although I don't know you, I find myself filling with tears. I can't begin to know how you feel. Keep being strong for you and your son. GOD BLESS YOU!

*** Posted by jessica (england) on 2007-09-06 ***

Hi, Sweetheart,

I'll keep this short tonight. Steven and I talked about you quite a bit today. He started his first day of college and wished you were here with us. Saturday's your birthday. It will be sad, but we will celebrate you as we always do. My heart to yours forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick B on 2007-09-05 ***

Hi, Angel, it's me. Today was not a good day. How is it that I have to live my life without you in it when my heart and soul and my very spirit is so in love with you? Nothing means the same anymore. The change of the seasons that I always looked forward to and the vivid colors that I looked forward to seem to be just black and white. I look, but I don't see. I listen, but I don't hear. I touch, but I don't feel. And I smile to cover the tears. The beautiful world that you gave to me seems shrouded in darkness to the point that I keep my eyes closed more than opened. I miss you, and that will never change. I love you so much. My heart to yours forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-04 ***

Hi Sweetheart,

Strange things happened last night. As I was getting ready to go to upstairs to go to sleep I smelled a familiar smell. At first I thought it was a soap that Steven may have used, but I saw he was already sleeping, and I knew he didn't have anything that smelled like what I was smelling. In my heart of hearts I recognized the smell as something you wore, but refused to admit it to myself. I could almost hear you saying what you always said to me, "Hon, why can't you just accept things. Why do you always have to analyze." Well, I pushed the thought out of my head. Today Steven told me he dreamed about you last night. He said you were on the phone, and it looked like you were either going to or at the tin can sailor reunion for your ship. Soooo, all day I have been wondering what the smell was that I was smelling. It smelled so much like one of your colognes. If only! My heart to yours forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-03 ***

Hi, Sweetheart,

It's late at night, and I can't sleep again. I was down by the water today again, and you could see Manhattan so clearly. All I can do right now is remember. Remember the days of 2001. Today is Sept 2nd. I can't believe that I only had 9 more days with you. On this day 6 years ago we were together. I remember we went shopping, and you bought new clothes. I still have those clothes. They are just the way you left them. You never got to wear them. You were getting ready for a trip to Vancouver, Washington. How I wish your trip would have been longer, but you wanted to get back in time to see Steven start school. You met a wonderful family on your trip. The Fergusons. They contacted me after I lost you, and we stay in contact. They didn't know you long, but they loved you. Everyone loved you. Especially Steven and I. My heart to yours forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-03 ***

Hi, Sweetheart,

It's me. Today was filled with thoughts of you. It's September 1st, and my heart is aching. This year the date is on the same day as it was in 2001, and all I can do is remember. I remember today is the exact day we went to Michael's birthday. We celebrated his birthday today, but everyone missed you so very much. It's getting harder than usual now. Sometimes I don't even want to wake up. The only way I will get through these days is keeping you near me. In thought and in prayer, I will think of you every moment. How I wish you were here. I can't seem to function when this time of the year comes around, all I can do is exist. Please always remember "you were the best of my life and you are the rest of my life." My heart to yours forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-09-01 ***

It's me, Angel. Tomorrow is the last day in August. Time is getting close again. Steven and I will be celebrating your 50th birthday soon. October is our 20th anniversary, and Steven will be 19 this year. So much has changed, and yet nothing has. I feel like I made time stand still. I love you so much, and miss you more and more. I pray for you every night. I hope you can see me. My heart to yours forever....

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-08-30 ***

My Beloved Husband,

Today I missed you so very much. It's getting harder day by day. Time is getting closer and you can feel it in the air. The days feel the same and the nights feel the same as if I were back in 2001. It's funny but this year I wish it would rain on 9/11 just so it would feel different. I want you here with us so badly that I would go to the ends of the universe to turn back time, if only that was possible, but it's not. So I pray to see you in my dreams tonight, because my heart is yearning to be near you. I love you, my angel.

My heart to yours forever,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-08-28 ***

Hi, Sweetheart,

Just a short note to say I LOVE YOU! The time is getting closer, and all the memories are coming back. I remember the last time we were together and the last time we celebrated your birthday. It hurts to remember that that was your last. As September 8th gets closer, Steven and I are thinking of a way to celebrate you this year. It would have been a special birthday. We miss you, angel, and we love you. Our hearts to yours forever,

Barbara and Steven

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-08-27 ***

Hi Sweetheart, it's me. Its kind of late but I couldn't sleep. You were so close to me today. I was in your closet looking at your clothes, and it felt like you were right there. I could almost see you, the feelings were so intense. Yes, and then I cried because the hurt was overwhelming. I have the shirt you wore the day before 9/11 in a tight plastic bag. It still smells like your cologne. I pray the fragrance will never leave because when I close my eyes and hold the shirt close, it's as if the angels brought you back to me. I love you Sweetheart.

My heart to yours forever,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-08-25 ***

My Love,

I sat by the water again and missed you so much. Always remember that you were the best of my life and will always be the rest of my life. I love you so very much.

Your wife forever,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-08-22 ***

Sweetheart,

Today is not a good day. The sadness is overwhelming. I sit down by the water and watch the skyline, and I cry. Cry because I miss you, and cry because I miss us. The lights come on in the city and its not familiar any more. The tall buildings that once stood are gone forever, and yet I feel that I can see them. Oh, how I wish I could. I wish I could see you; I wish I could hold you again. My heart aches because I miss you so much. Perhaps tomorrow will be better again. If my tears could be seen in heaven, then you can also see how my heart holds you tightly. See you in my dreams.

My love and prayers always and forever,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-08-15 ***

Sweetheart,

Today was a good day because I felt you by my side. Today I smiled and it felt good. I love you, angel.

Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-08-14 ***

It's me again, sweetheart. Just thinking of how lonely this world is without you and holding onto you in my heart. I feel close to you when I write on here. Sometimes I feel like you are standing right beside me watching. I love you so much.

My love always,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-08-13 ***

My Love,

In the quiet stillness of the night, I pray for you. I miss you so much.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-08-12 ***

I'm sitting here thinking about you as always. "I LOVE YOU"

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-08-11 ***

My Love,

Today I closed my eyes, and I heard your heart beat, and felt the silkiness of your hair, and the warmth of your smile and the kindness of your eyes. I miss you even more today. My love forever.

Your wife,
Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2007-08-03 ***


327 Total Comments

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