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In Memory of Steven Paul Chucknick

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In Tribute to Steven Paul Chucknick
44 years old.   Residence: Cliffwood Beach, N.J.
Died in World Trade Center

NOTE:  The visitor remarks and comments below are NOT NECESSARILY the feelings or beliefs of this website's webmaster or sponsors.

327 Total Comments
Page:  4 of 17

My Love ...

Our 22nd wedding anniversary is coming soon.... I would marry you all over again ... and again.

My heart to only yours forever,
I remain your wife Barbara!

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-10-05 ***

Hi Sweetheart,

I haven't been on here because I guess I just needed time to think by myself. It seems that it gets harder and harder to recover from each September 11. It did rain the entire day, and that was fine with me. And my thoughts are still with you as we get ready to face another year of holidays without you. Steven will be 21 next month, and I just can't believe it. He was such a little boy when you were taken from us, and now he is a man. I smile because he is the exact kind of man you were. I smile because, when I look into his eyes, I see you. He is his own person, but yet he is you. He will always be the greatest gift you ever gave to me. I love the both of you with all my heart and will forever. Goodnight, Sweetheart....

My heart to yours forever and ever,
Your wife, Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-10-02 ***

Hi Angel,

I can't believe how quickly this week has passed. I'm doing a little better again, but I still miss you like crazy. You are my husband, my lover and my best friend. My life will never be the same without you!... I love you so much.

My heart to only yours forever,
Your wife, Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-09-18 ***

My Love,

The weekend was quiet with many thoughts of you. Many of your friends called or left messages. I love knowing that you are remembered. But how could anyone ever forget you? This world was so lucky to have you in it, and I will always be blessed to call myself your wife. I love you forever.

My heart to only yours,
Your wife, Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-09-13 ***

Dear Cathy and Steve,

Thank you for your thoughtfulness, and your hugs were really needed. You're in our prayers.

Barbara and Steven

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-09-13 ***

My Angel,
Today is Sept 12th and I still can't seem to move. My thoughts are only of you. I still feel the numbness that I felt 8 years ago. The quietness and the loneliness, the sadness and the tears. It was still raining today and that was fine with me. I guess I used it as an excuse to do nothing. I keep trying my love to pick up and move on but I can't. So, as always my heart remains with you and only you as it has since I met you. And I'm OK with that. I just need to do something that will make you proud of me and I will keep trying until I do. I love you so much
My heart to yours forever
Your Wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-09-13 ***

Barbara and Steven,

You are in our thoughts and we're sending warm hugs.
There are so many wonderful memories of Steve. Let them fill your mind, warm your heart and lead you through.

*** Posted by Cathy and Steve O'Brien on 2009-09-12 ***

My Beloved Husband
The day has finally come to an end. It was emotionally draining as I remembered each and every moment of this day in 2001. It did rain and that was a good thing... well for me at least... I couldn't bare to have a crisp clear day like it was on the day you were taken from me. The rain today was match by my tears as I couldn't control my emotions today. I miss you so very much and my heart ached to be near you. I will forever love you!
My heart to yours forever
Your Wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-09-12 ***

I do remember your name and I am so happy that you remembered me. All of the volunteers from the Red Cross etc. hold a special place in my heart and always will. I don't know how I would have made it without all the love and care that was shown to us. You are all very special people and will never be forgotten. And as far as my Steve. He was amazing and I am still so very much in love with him. My son Steve was only 12 when my husband was taken from us and now this November will be 21 and is studying to be a Veterinarian. My Husband would be so proud of him.
Again thank you Andrea from the bottom of my heart. May God bless you and always keep you safe from harm.

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-09-12 ***

My thoughts are with you today and always. Eight years ago I was an AmeriCorps volunteer with the Red Cross. I was answering phones on a day that November when you called in asking for some assistance. You were not my only client by any means, but you touched my life deeply by the strength and courage you showed and the honest feelings you shared with me, a total stranger. Your husband must have been a wonderful man. Know that I think about you and your son often, and wish you strength and courage on this day in particular. All my best to you.

*** Posted by Andrea Hammes Dodge on 2009-09-11 ***

My Beloved Husband,

It is the very early hours of 9/11/09, and I am sitting here staring at the clock and cannot stop the tears. How I wish I could turn back the clock to eight years ago at this hour and know what I know now. I would have held onto you and not let you go to work. The alarm did not go off. Was that God trying to keep you from going in that day? I feel like my heart is being ripped from my body right now, and panic is setting in. I miss you every day of my life, but this day is the worst of all. I can't speak; I won't answer the phone. I feel totally lost, and each year seems to get worse and worse. I feel like I am living the nightmare all over again. Looking at the time now and knowing that in just a few hours the hatred that was living among us in this world would take you from me. The pain I feel right now is the pain I felt eight years ago, the sickness in the pit of my stomach, wondering if I had lost you or were you coming home to me. I remember every word from that day and every detail of what happened. I am now in 2009, but as I have said many times over, my heart remains with you in 2001 and will forever. I miss you so very much, and I don't know what to do.... Please be in my dreams. I can't bear to be without you anymore.

My heart to yours and only yours forever,
Your wife, Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-09-11 ***

My Love,
I would like to say that today was better than yesterday, but it wasn't. Steven and I spoke about you a lot today. The quietness ended because he knew I needed to talk. We spoke about the wonderful day we spent with you on Sept 9 2001 and how we continued to celebrate your Birthday. I always love telling Steven the story of how very much we both wanted him and how very much you loved him. He was 12 when we lost you and now this year he will be 21. I can always see in his eyes how much he misses you and I also see in his eyes the part of you that they could not take away from me. He is you. He is the most wonderful part of you and your personality and compassion. Now it is nighttime and the quiet has returned to our home. He and I are dreading the 11th. I don't know what goes through his mind on that day but I do know what goes through mine. I relive every single moment of the day that we lost you. The pain becomes so intense that I wish I could just curl up in a corner and stay there till its over. I want so much to be in your arms that I sometimes cry myself to sleep. This isn't the way it was suppose to be. We were suppose to grow old together. Now I must face it alone. But one this is for certain. And that is that my love for you will never end until we are together again for eternity. I love you my Angel
My heart to only yours forever
Your Wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-09-10 ***

My Sweet Angel,
Today is not a good day. Steven is so quiet and nothing is being said. There is such a sadness in our home because you are not here to celebrate your birthday. The day got worse for me as I remembered how 8 years ago on this day you were smiling and just enjoying the day with Steven and me. and then just 3 days later you were gone. I still have the present we gave you sitting where you left them. They will stay there for as long as I am here. Everything of yours is the way you left it. I went to the memorial today to bring flowers to honor your Birthday and I smiled to think of the wonderful man you were. How you had such a brilliant smile, a love for everyone. You were caring and kind and never had a bad word to say about anyone... even those who hurt you. You were the best father to our son and the most wonderful husband a woman could want. You were my hero and my Angel and you will always be. I miss you so very much and it hurts to think I will never be in your arms again. And so I cry and will probably cry forever. I think of all the good times we had together but cry when I realize that those times will never be again. Someday my love I will join you but for now our son needs me. I love you and I miss you with every fiber of my being. Happy Birthday My Angel. You live in my heart and will for the rest of my life
My heart to only yours forever
Your wife Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-09-08 ***

My Beloved,

The air is crisp and cool, and the days are getting shorter. Tuesday is your birthday, and Steven and I are preparing to celebrate it as always. My love, I feel so lost and sad. It seems that I have thoughts only of you, and my heart is heavy because I miss you so very, very much. Where are you? Where do we go when we leave this earth? I know we go to heaven. But where is heaven, and what is it like? I stay quiet in the silence of the night, hoping to hear your voice, but it never comes. And so I cry. I cry because of the yearning that is within me to be near you. Oh, my love, forgive me for not being the person I was supposed to be. My life has no meaning without you in it. I try very hard because of Steven, but sometimes the pain of not having you here is too much to bear. Please always remember that I will love you for all eternity.

My heart to only yours forever,
Your wife, Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-09-07 ***

Dear Mary,

Thank you so much for your prayers. I believe in the power of prayer, and I will also keep you and your family in mine. May you always be safe from harm....

Barbara Chucknick

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-09-07 ***

Dear Barbara,

I never knew your husband, but I picked him out of the list of victims. I wanted to pick one person to pray for, and your husband's name popped out. I pray for you and your family, and my thoughts will be with you from the other side of the world at this time.

Best wishes and a bug hug,

*** Posted by Martina Keogh in Ireland on 2009-09-06 ***

My Angel,

Today is the 5th of September, and I am feeling down. It seems that no matter where I turn right now, there is always a reminder of 9/11. I received an e-mail from the artist who designed the poster, "Faces of the Brave," and I anxiously await a copy. Your photo is in two places on the poster, and I am so very proud and honored that you were included. Lately I have felt you near me.... Was it really you, or am I just imagining it? I want so much to get a sign that tells me that you are all right. No, to be honest ... I want you to TELL me that you are all right. I want to see you so much that it hurts. I would give anything for one more day with you. To hold you in my arms and to see your beautiful smile. But I know it will never happen. So after eight years ... I wait still now knowing what I am really waiting for. Please know that I still hold you safe in my heart, away from anyone or anything that will ever hurt you. And that is my promise to you. I love you so very much.

My heart to only yours forever,
Your wife, Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-09-05 ***

My Angel....

So here we are at the beginning of September with your Birthday just a few days away.... I can't help but wonder what our lives would be like right now if you were still here. I miss the laughing and the planning and the dreams. These days seem to have grown dark again with remembering the days before you were taken from us. It doesn't get better. It doesn't get easier. I still can't accept it, and I miss you more with every passing day. Sometimes, when I think of you, I can almost feel your heart in mine. I close my eyes and dream of being in your arms again, but those dreams are ripped away with reality. A broken heart will never mend. It can't because there is always the yearning of wanting to be held by the only person you ever loved and will ever love. These days will be hard, but I will be strong, I promise. I love you so very much.

My heart to yours forever,
Your wife, Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-09-03 ***

My Love,

September is here and has come all to soon. The night air is so cool, and I am missing you so very much. I will bring flowers to the memorial this weekend for our birthday and then just sit down by the water dreaming that when I open my eyes, this nightmare will end, and the Towers will be there again. Oh, how I wish ... I feel so down again because it seems each year it is getting harder to face these days. All I do is remember the wonderful summer we had together and the hope and dreams we shared ... and then you were gone. Losing you was like having my heart ripped from me and torn into pieces ... and it remains broken. Please always remember how much I love you and always will.

My heart to yours forever
Your wife, Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-09-01 ***

My beloved Husband,

The end of August is right around the corner. Summer is coming to an end, and you can feel the change in the weather. The days are getting shorter, and the feeling in the air is the same as it was the day I lost you and has been every year since. How have I made it this far without you? Sometimes I still feel as though I am just caught up in a bad dream, and that all this will end soon, and you will be coming home to me. Maybe that thought is what is keeping me going and keeping me sane. The world has changed so much since you left. What was supposed to be a better world for the children of today has turned into a never-ending nightmare. There is so much hate in the world that one has to stop and wonder what went wrong. I refuse to give up because I know it can change for the better if people would try. Sometimes I still feel that so many have forgotten the horrible day of 9/11. As I have said in the past ... maybe for some it is easier to make believe that it never happened. I, for one, will never forget because mine and Steven's lives have never been the same since. We miss you with all our hearts and always will. You would be so very proud of our son. He has grown into quite the man, with so many of your wonderful qualities. There are times when he even has your expressions. It's as if you are there beside him. I love you, my angel, and will forever. My heart belongs to you, only you, and it always will. I love you.

My heart to yours forever,
Your wife, Barbara

*** Posted by Barbara Chucknick on 2009-08-30 ***

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